Since most of us need to be reminded more than we need to be taught, check out this list and select a few to work on in the coming weeks:

• Establish rapport: create mutual trust through your tone of voice and thoughtful questions
• Eye contact: communicates attentiveness and respect
• Attentive skills: lean forward or nod your head to emphasize your interest; use verbal responses like “yes” or “I see” to communicate that you’re following them
• Tracking: either verbatim (repeating the words the speaker just said) or paraphrased (restating the content in your own words)
• Story listening: requires patience; listen for themes that will help you respond
• Language: listen for “cue words” that build a communication bond between you and the speaker
• Congruent positioning: shift your attentive posture to a congruent position in short intervals (i.e. mimic her body position)

I’ll be working on my story listening in the coming days…which of these will you focus on to enhance your listening skills? Take a moment to respond below. 

But since starting my business, I’ve become more and more comfortable behind a microphone, having spoken at coaches conventions and a slew of Kiwanis, Rotary and Optimist meetings. Confidence definitely comes with practice and I’ve learned helpful tips from many others, particularly Michael Hyatt.

Preparation. I can’t stress this one enough! Everyone works differently, but for me the process includes prayer, writing the speech, editing, practicing out loud and visualization.

Last weekend at the A Step Up symposium, Big East Associate Women’s Basketball Commissioner Danielle Donehew spoke to the Director of Operations group about using their transferrable skills to transition to the next level of administration. She did such a great job that symposium founder Felicia Hall Allen asked her to make the same presentation to all the coaches. Lots of helpful information! Some snippets from my notes:

My career at Division III Wittenberg University wasn’t one of distinction. So the opportunity to lead many Athletes in Action exhibition teams that played programs like Tennessee, UConn and Duke each fall felt like heaven. Walking into those historic arenas with a front row seat to watch gifted athletes compete never got old!

Confession #2: I never aspired to be a college basketball coach.

AAU and high school seemed about my speed, but not college. So no one was more surprised than me when I coached our 2000 exhibition team of former collegiate players on a tour that included 10 teams ranked in the USA Today Preseason Top 25.

What an honor to play against the likes of Kay Yow, Debbie Ryan and Andy Landers. Yet the night etched in my mind forever is our last game against Tennessee and Pat Summitt.

Nerves rattled my bones! Reading the local paper that day didn’t help (now I know why coaches don’t read the paper). I learned Tennessee had won their first exhibition game by 88 points. Yes, 88!

I took to my knees in the hotel room before the game pleading with God to strengthen our tired bodies and help us compete (this marked our 13th game in about 17 days)! Perhaps you’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s an exhibition game and doesn’t even count!” Well, it counted to us and we took our job of helping them prepare for their season seriously. We wanted to compete.

From the minute we arrived at Thompson Boling Arena we felt the aura of Tennessee women’s basketball. A manager met our bus and showed us to the locker room (this rarely happened at other schools—definite touch of class).

But the most unforgettable moment was entering the orange-laden arena that night to see the over 6,000 people who came to an exhibition game (remember, they don’t count!). Pat came out shortly before the game and welcomed our coaches and team. Truly an honor to meet her and to compete in that unique environment.

Women’s basketball will never see another Pat Summitt. Partly because she entered the scene at a time in history when women’s basketball (and women’s sports for that matter) needed pioneers with determination, grit and work ethic to help it grow. But also because of how she stewarded the opportunity entrusted to her.

Gone are the days when a coach will stay at one institution for 38 years (due to both the fickleness of administrations as well as coaches). Coach Summitt’s program emanated class, integrity and excellence because she demanded it both on and off the court. And in so doing she created a culture that became the benchmark for every other women’s basketball coach in America.

“Thank you” seems so inadequate to express gratitude to someone whose legacy changed the face of women’s basketball forever. As a fan of the game and someone who seeks to make a positive difference in the lives of coaches and athletes, I’m grateful for Coach Summitt’s example. Her influence resulted in more opportunities for female athletes and more exposure for our great game—both of which have had direct impact on my life. I’m so glad she will continue to mentor and teach in her new role.

By the way, God answered my prayer and we did compete! Down by only 8 at halftime, we ended up losing by 33—which to us, strangely felt like some sort of victory. At least it wasn’t 88!

Do you have a favorite memory of Coach Summitt? Please share it below.

If you walk into a neighborhood and see a building or home with a broken window, you might think:

• this isn’t a safe area
• people here don’t care
• expectations here are low

The theory is that if a broken window remains, then more will surface. The building will become inhabited with squatters and soon more buildings will have broken windows. But if the broken window is repaired, then the rest of the cycle will likely never happen.

Now, apply this concept to your team culture. Broken windows on a team might look like:

• players being permitted to talk back to coaches/officials
• coaches losing control of emotions in game/practice
• ongoing selfishness among team members
• disregard for team goals or policies
• win-at-all-cost attitudes

Left unattended, behaviors like this erode team trust. When athletes and coaches can act however they want with no accountability or consequences, individuals begin taking precedence over the team while unity and chemistry go, well…out the window (pun intended).

But fixing a broken window creates an expectation of excellence. Raising the bar develops pride in your program. Individuals who want to be part of something bigger than themselves adhere to the new standards as the enjoyment, excitement and pride of being part of the team takes precedence over  selfish desires.

Improving team culture is challenging but not difficult. Start by fixing a broken window.

What broken window do you see in your program? What action will you take to begin fixing  it?

If you missed out, here are some of my notes. If you were there and gleaned other insights, please share them below!

Transactional coach: self-centered, extrinsic values, uses players to meet his/her needs

Transformational coach: others-centered, intrinsic values, focused on opportunities to change players’ lives.

The biggest factor in becoming a transformational coach is making sense of your own life.

4 Questions:

• Why do you coach?
• Why do you coach the way that you do?
• What does it feel like to be coached by you?
• What do you want to accomplish by your coaching?

TEAM is a set of relationships for a cause. Relationships—to love and be loved. Cause—to make the world a better place.

Develop a transformational purpose statement that tells why you coach. And further define it by identifying the values that will create your team culture.

10 Ways to Become a Transformational Coach

When you’re making an important life decision, make sure it’s without regard to money, title or position. Make sure it’s about who you’re going to be working with and how much you’ll enjoy being there.

Important perspective to keep in mind…especially to all you coaches in transition!

What wisdom has someone shared with you in the midst of making a big decision? Please pass it along to us below.

Q: What have been the biggest “ah-ha’s” for you now that you’re on the outside of college coaching looking in?

A: No coach wants to hear this, but what became so apparent to me was how I made EVERY game, EVERY recruit, EVERY element of coaching SO ultimate, when in fact there are so many more important things in life.  As coaches we all say that there are more important things than the game or our careers, but often we don’t really believe it or live it.

My entire worth and identity as a person was wrapped up in the score of our last game, which recruits we got and the quality of my scouting reports. The newspapers, websites and blogs became my truth and overshadowed the REAL TRUTH, which I believe to be my faith in Jesus Christ.

Q: In light of what you’ve learned these last few years, what would you do differently if you ever went back to college coaching?

A: Spend less time worrying, keep the “importance” of the game and the job in perspective, spend more time away from work and think through how to make college basketball a positive experience for each of my players.

Q: What advice do you most want to give young coaches just starting out?

A: Don’t let your job define who you are! Find time for other interests and especially for other people and DO NOT feel guilty about spending time doing non-work related things.

Along those same lines…put it all in persepctive. It really helps me to think about basketball in the backdrop of the entire world or in the light of eternity.  For instance, I’ve made some dumb decisions in coaching and would endlessly beat myself up about them.  But when I compare what seems like a tragedy in the moment to the fact that there are millions of people in many countries around the world who haven’t eaten today, or who are stuck in slavery, I realize I have so much to be thankful for and there’s no use worrying about basketball.

Feed the person, not just the player: Get to know them, attend their other extracurricular events, show that you care about more than their performance on the court.

Feed the heart: host movie nights, visit amusement parks, liven pre-practice routines with music, get away for mini team retreats, hold a Grandparent appreciation game. Be creative! Athletes play because they want to have fun, so incorporate fun to keep things fresh.

Feed the soul: Kathy coached at a Catholic school and had a prayer board where her players could write down prayer requests. This helped her know what concerns they faced and gave them an unthreatening way to communicate those things. Most importantly, they could pray for those issues. Finding out what’s going on in their lives gives you clues what they need from you and how to coach them more effectively.

Feed their bodies: She provided big jars of peanut butter, jelly and a bag of apples before practice, which gave them more energy and kept them focused. It also prevented them from grabbing vending machine snacks to curb their hunger.

Feed their brains: increase your knowledge through clinics, books, dvd’s and pass that knowledge along to them.

What are some ways you feed your athletes? Please leave your comment below.

What a paradox. Humility shows strength, not weakness. It declares confidence in one’s identity, not uncertainty. It displays courage, not fear.

Humble leaders attract loyal followers. So if you want a team of people willing to do anything for you, start with developing more humility.

Humble leaders:

 What would you add to this list? Please leave your comment below.